I read with interest A Scottish Lass’s definition of a kink as opposed to a fetish and it got me thinking about the difference. Normally, I wouldn’t worry about such things as I am not a big fan of labels (designer or otherwise), but I was prompted to think about my situation.
It is true that I developed a bit of a fetish for lingerie as a young man. By which I mean that any sexual experience was enhanced if there was lingerie involved. I began avidly buying it for girlfriends and wives and was thrilled when they wore it (first purchase: Fenwick’s, Newcastle, 1984). And yes, merely browsing in the lingerie section of M&S or the Freemans catalogue gave me a thrill (who among us hasn’t browsed the lingerie section of a catalogue?).
And yes, it was certainly this fetishisation of lingerie that ultimately led to me wanting to wear it myself. Even before Alice, I would occasionally try on the lingerie I had purchased for others.
So ultimately, my fetish became a kink, I guess. I mean there are plenty of other kinks I enjoy – being tied up/restrained or smothering someone in squirty cream for example. But the sight of a rope or a can of squirty cream on its own doesn’t have the same effect on me as seeing a pair of knickers.
Obviously, Alice has gone way beyond wearing the occasional pair of knickers and in fact, during lockdown, I am Alice virtually 24/7, but the thrill of the lingerie department remains! I can’t go into a shop and not have a quick browse. Even when doing the weekly shop in Asda (other supermarkets are available) I almost inevitably end up buying some knickers.